TellTell someone in person
Talking face to face is often the best way — but it's not always easy. These tips can help.
When in person is best
- You have an ongoing relationship with the person
- They are unlikely to read a text or email privately
- You feel safe having the conversation
Tips for the conversation
- Be direct. Say you have been diagnosed with an STI (name it) and they should get tested.
- Stay calm and factual. This is about health, not blame. Either of you could have had the infection first.
- Give them useful information. Point them to a clinic or our clinic finder.
- Be specific. Tell them which STI and, if relevant, where on the body (e.g. rectal chlamydia vs oral).
- Let them react. They may be upset or surprised. Give them space to ask questions.
Example script
"There's no easy way to say this, but I've just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I don't know who got it first, but you should get checked out. Most sexual health clinics offer free testing — want me to send you the link?"
Need help writing a message? Try the Ending HIV Tell Me tool (works for any STI).
When not to tell in person
If you are worried about your safety, or the conversation could put you at risk, do not feel you have to tell them face to face. You can:
- Send an anonymous SMS
- Send an anonymous email
- Ask a sexual health clinic for support with partner notification